Sunday, September 11, 2011

Divorce or Separation and Social Networks

With so many people using social networks like Twitter and Facebook, it can become quite common to talk to family members and friends on those networks in the same way you might talk to them in your own living room. However, if you're going through a divorce or separation, a little more caution might be needed. It's important to know when the proper time to share with family and friends is, and how it should be done.

Posting Status Updates - Even if your profiles aren't public, you should watch your status updates. It can be tempting to vent on your social networks and say bad things about your wife or soon-to-be ex wife. However, there's always a chance that the post could get back to your wife. You may not care about this, but if she would take a screenshot of the status and take it to court with her, it could really backfire on your child custody case. It could make you look juvenile, and it could potentially sway the judge in her favor. So one of the things you really have to think about when you're posting status updates is what the judge would think if he could see them. This is especially important if you're going to court for custody as well.

Family - Another thing you'll want to think about is family. A divorce or child custody situation is without a doubt an awkward situation for families, especially those people who love both you and your wife. By saying bad things about your wife, you could be hurting other people that you don't have a problem with. If you're friends with your older children, this could be devastating to them. They may act like it doesn't bother them, or that they're 'on your side,' but the truth is that it does hurt them and it could make them resent you later in life. For family's sake, it's important to watch those updates and your words on the internet.
If you want to vent or need to tell family members something, you should speak with them in person, and be discreet about things. While it may feel better to say whatever pops into your head at the moment, in the long run it's a better idea to be tactful and careful of what you say on social networks. Watch your words so you don't have to deal with them coming back to bite you in the backside later.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Marriage Separation - How Should You Behave?

If you've separated from your wife, and you feel as though a divorce is in your imminent future, you might wonder what the correct behavior toward your wife and children is. What will jeopardize your chances for a favorable child custody outcome in court? What kind of behavior might make it easier for you to receive the outcome you're hoping for with regards to your kids? Knowing how you should behave when you're separated can help you keep a level head and deal with the worst kind of situation more easily.

Your Behavior Toward Your Wife - First and foremost, you want to stay calm when dealing with your wife. There's a good chance that there are some bad feelings between you, and while you are probably angry and possibly upset and hurt, it's important to maintain your composure. Any behavior you display toward your wife could come back to haunt you in court. There are also cases where wives have taken out restraining orders against their husbands during a separation, and this could interfere with your ability to see your children. There's no doubt that you'll have to speak with your wife because you have children together, so each time you do so, make sure you maintain your composure and don't lose your head.

Your Behavior Toward Your Children - During a separation, it's important to maintain as much contact with your children as you can. If you've had to leave the house and they're still with their mother, this can be more difficult than if you stayed with the children and the mother left. However, do what you can to maintain the bonds you have. If it's impossible to be cordial to your wife, take the children out of the house for quality time with you. Reassure your children now more than ever that you love them and that you'll never leave their life; that you're still a family even with difficult times on the horizon.

One of the most important things to remember is how to speak about your wife to your children. You should never, ever say hurtful things in an attempt to get your children 'on your side.' This will only serve to hurt your children and it won't help you at all. Remember that even though you and your wife may not love each other anymore, your children will always love both their mother and their father, so when one side is mudslinging against the other, it is painful for them to deal with. Document any negative behavior that your wife displays, and even if she does do this, try your best to stay calm and be the 'bigger' person.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Vital Child Custody Guidelines Fathers Should Not Ignore

It would be nice if fathers had a copy of "The Official Child Custody Guidelines" to read before they went to court for custody of their child. Unfortunately, there is no set child custody guidelines spelled out in any law book for fathers to read. Therefore no such book exists. It's hard being a father going to court to get custody of your kids, ill prepared and fearing the unknown. This article will give you tips to follow before you go to see the judge and have a long child custody battle on your hands.
Be Accessible
The judge is going to look at your work schedule to ensure you have the time to raise your child. If you travel for your job and are out of town 3 days a week, this really stacks the deck against you. Simply put, a typical 9 to 5 job (or 7 to 5 for most of us) is suffice. The judge just wants to make sure you are available for your child and that you have the time in your schedule to devote to your child.
 Your Past Criminal Record
Hopefully you don't have a past criminal record. If that's the case then you can just skim over this section. However, if you've had some run is with the law (in a negative way) then make sure you address this with your lawyer before you go to court. Because believe me, your ex-wife will bring it up and the judge will look into it further.
 Positive Re-enforcement Issues
All healthy families have disciplinary guidelines. It's normal. However, if you are the type of father to reach for your belt every time your child is out of line, then the judge will certainly frown on this. Also, make sure the environment you have your child in as the primary care giver is free of negative influences. This would include hostility towards your ex-wife. So be civil with her for here on out.
 How's Your Character?
Our youth is so easily influenced these days with who's on the cover of the magazines or who's the next great signer, that they need a person with a positive and strong character in their lives. Hopefully that person is you. If you have a good job, are a non-smoker, non-drinker and you go to church every Sunday, then the odds of you winning a custody battle are greater than the person who is on unemployment, drinks, smokes and never goes to church. Does that make sense? So the perfect candidate would be one who works full time, has time to coach his kid's soccer team, has weekends off, goes to church regularly and has a clean background.
However, the perfect father figure hasn't existed since the show Leave It To Beaver, so don't beat yourself up over it. But did you know that most fathers lose child custody cases simply because they were ill prepared, not because they were bad parents? Don't let that happen to you. Get prepared before you ever go to court and get everything you should know about child custody BEFORE you go to court by visiting Child Custody Guidelines. Don't let your ex-wife take advantage of you in court. Get the facts you need now.

Child Custody For Fathers - Know Your Rights

In recent times cases of child custody for fathers are becoming a lot more common, as the courts are increasingly placing more emphasis on the child's best interests rather than automatically awarding custody of the child to the mother in case of a divorce. This does not mean that things have gotten automatically easier for fathers. Family courts still view the mother as the main caregiver and tend to be biased towards the mother of the child whenever a custody dispute takes place. But there are certain things that you, as a father, can do in order to protect your fathers custody rights.
While Child Custody For Fathers Has Gotten Easier, It Is Far From Being A Walk In The Park
The best way to settle a custody case is to be able to reach a mutual agreement between both parties. Although this can happen sometimes, it is not always the case when a custody dispute arises. Due to this, you will need to get all of the resources possible in order to achieve child custody for fathers. Getting custody of your child will mean convincing the court that you are the most stable parent and can provide the best environment for the child to grow up in. Once again, this is likely not to be an easy battle to win. Some mothers have been known to use various "dirty" tricks in order to get one over the father of their children. This involves things such as fabricating allegations of child abuse, violence or neglect.
In the face of this, how do men get child custody for fathers? The best thing to do is to be prepared when you show up in court. Do not simply rely on your attorney to do everything for you. While a lawyer can be a useful tool and can provide some great advice in a custody case, YOU are the one who knows the most about your unique circumstances and how they apply to your case. A good thing to do is to start documenting all of the time that you spend with your children and any dealings that you have with your ex-wife. This can be very useful to establish the fact that you are acting as a responsible parent and are able to better represent the best interests of your child. It will be even more useful if you have been falsely accused of being violent, unstable or otherwise being a bad example for your child.
Many fathers ask themselves the question as to where they can find the right information on child custody for fathers. While an attorney that specializes in divorce and child custody issues is an expert on applicable laws in your jurisdiction as well as court proceedings, there is nothing that is stopping your from doing some independent reading on the subject of child custody for father's. The more information you have at your disposal, the better prepared you will be in the court room. The links below contain some material that has helped countless fathers secure their custody rights. Why not check it out today and see how useful it can be?
Fight for your right to be the parent. Stay informed and learn more about Fathers Rights Custody here and taking control and knowing your rights. Go here to win

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Choosing an Appropriate Attorney for Child Custody

A child custody case is not a game, but it often boils down to a contest to see who can present themselves as the most 'fit' parent to care for the children full-time.  It can be brutal, heartbreaking, sad, and scary.  Going into a child custody case without an experienced, compassionate attorney by your side is never a good idea.  It's important to have an attorney you trust, and to know how to choose an appropriate attorney with child custody experience.
Free Consultations - One thing you should know is that most attorneys offer a free consultation, where they meet with you or speak to you on the telephone about your child custody case and about the kind of representation you need.  This is the perfect chance for you to determine whether you feel comfortable with a particular attorney or not. Speaking to a few different attorneys is a great idea, because you want to make sure the attorney is compassionate and really out to help you, as well as meshing well with your personality.
Experience - You'll need to find out about the attorney's experience before you move forward and hire him or her. Don't be afraid to ask about how many child custody and divorce cases the attorney has represented.  If the attorney is worth anything, he or she will be more than willing to discuss their experience, and how many cases they've represented. Many attorneys will have files on hand with the numbers available; the number of cases they've represented, and their wins/losses.
Cost - One of the biggest factors in choosing an attorney is the cost. Attorneys can be very expensive, and if the divorce is contested - meaning that you and your wife haven't agreed on all the terms of the divorce - it can cost even more.  Typically, attorneys will charge a retainer, and then they'll bill you for hourly costs against that retainer.  So, if the attorney charges a $1,000 retainer and bills $150 per hour, he will work until the $150 per hour has depleted the $1,000 retainer and then you'll be charged additional costs.  It's important to determine what you can afford and be up front with the attorneys.  Some will work with you on the costs by allowing you to make payments.
Finally, you should know that some attorneys try all kinds of family law and others focus solely on divorce and child custody cases. Some people feel as if those who specialize in the child custody cases are more competent and can represent you better.  Remember - do it right the first time - it is extremely difficult to get rulings and decisions reversed later.

What to do When Served with Divorce Papers

If you've been served with divorce papers, it may have been a shock or it may have been expected.  In either case, it's a frightening situation, especially if there are children involved.  You might worry that you're about to lose custody of the children to your wife, since the majority of the time, mothers obtain custody of the children.  However, there are some things you can do to protect yourself and ensure that you get fair child custody as well.
Who is the Sole Caretaker of the Children?
The first thing you'll want to think about is who the sole caretaker of the children is.  Your wife may do the majority of the caretaking, you might, or it might be fairly even.  Who takes the children to school and picks them up?  Who meets with the teachers and attends PTA meetings?  Who takes the children to their doctor's appointments and has a good relationship with their physician?  Who takes the children to their extracurricular activities?  Does either parent coach or participate in these activities?  These are all things the judge will be looking at, and the majority of the time the person who does more of this will get primary child custody.  However, if it's fairly even, the judge may decide to grant joint child custody to the parents.  Keep any documentation that might prove the caretaking that you do; such as notes from the teacher to you specifically, proof of meetings, doctor's appointments, etc.  Make sure all statements from others are certified by your or their attorney.
Behavior Toward the Children/Wife
Another thing you'll want to do when served with divorce papers is keep calm and stay where you're at.  Don't lose your head and let your anger get the best of you, because it could ruin your child custody case.  Explain to the children what is happening - with your wife present if possible - and reassure them that you're still a family and you still love them.  While most men may feel as though they need to leave the house, you should not.  If your wife is in possession of the house at the time of the case, there's a good possibility that the judge will simply grant her possession of the house legally.  If you're both there, there's a chance that you may get possession of the house.  Keep calm and keep your head so that you have the best possibility of having a favorable outcome.
Financial Situation
Finally, you need to think about your finances.  Do you and your wife have joint checking or savings accounts?  If so, it's perfectly legal for her to take the money that's there without informing you, since the money is hers too.  You should be aware of this, and if you have direct deposits from work, you might want to switch over to your own savings or checking account.  Also, if you can document how the money got into the joint accounts and take what you've put there, it will look much better than if you drain it and leave your wife with nothing.
These are some things to think about when you've been served with divorce papers, so that you can be sure your best interests are being taken care of.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Steps to Prepare Yourself Before Your Wife Files for Divorce

When you stand at the alter with your beloved and say, "I do," you never really think about the possibility of divorce. Unfortunately, it does happen, and when it does, it's important to be prepared. With a divorce comes a whole slew of things that one must worry about, especially if you have children with your wife. Knowing how to prepare can help you protect yourself and your best interests.
Monetary Issues - One of the things you'll want to think about is your money. Most married couples have savings accounts, checking accounts, and other joint interests that will need to be taken care of. There's always the possibility that your wife could drain those accounts and since they're legally hers too, there's nothing you can do about it. This is something you should be aware of. Most likely, in divorce court, the judge will divide up these assets, so it's important to have documentation regarding all income and assets.
Custody Issues - A large portion of the time, divorces seque into child custody cases. Dads often become worried that they will not receive full custody of their children and they'll be stuck visiting them on weekends and holidays. If you do the majority of caretaking for your children, obtain proof. Write down the things you do for your kids; whether it's taking them to and from school and doctor's appointments, meeting with teachers and extracurricular activities, attending games, etc. In most cases, the primary caregiver - the person who does most for the children - will recieve full child custody. In some cases, parents will receive joint custody, which is the perfect way to go if it's possible in your case. Regardless, it's important to have this documentation.
Personal Steps - In a divorce, one or other of the couple will need to leave the house. If this will be you, you'll need to find a place to stay. It's important - if you're going to try for custody - that you remain close to the children. You'll also need to make sure you have a working vehicle and that you're able to get back and forth to work. The last thing you want is to risk losing your job and compounding your problems. A divorce is difficult, and it can push people to extreme circumstances. No matter what you do, try to remain calm and level-headed so you don't risk jeopardizing your case.
Legal - Finally, it's important to obtain legal counsel so that you can have your best interests protected and looked after. The chances of your wife obtaining legal counsel are excellent, and this isn't something you want to go into alone or without the benefit of an experienced lawyer. Many attorneys give free consultations, so you can use this to your advantage to find the attorney that's right for you. Being prepared for divorce can often mean you come through the other side more easily and in better shape.
Michael Lauren

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Welcome to "Dads In Court"

Before I faced divorce I had no idea how difficult and expensive the whole process would be.
The child custody process remains an uphill battle for fathers, and can turn your whole world upside down.  Knowing what to do, when to do it, and how to do it can make all the difference in the final outcome.
In this blog I will try to help other fathers better navigate the process, both emotionally and financially.  I have been there…I lived it…so I know the anxiety, fears, and hardships.
Stay tuned…